Mar 222011

US now has 10 million centenarians

WHO News Report

22 March 2111

Yesterday, President John F Kennedy III presented Mr Dallas Simpson of Dayton, Ohio, with a special medal to mark his being the 10 millionth person to attain membership of the Century Club.

There are now 3,000 people a day arriving at this truly wonderful age” remarked the President.

Choosing Mr Simpson to receive the award had been a difficult choice he said, because back in 1999 the exact minute of a baby’s birth was not logged, nor was it validated by an independent witness, as it is today. Now the very second a baby issues its first cry is automatically logged on the US National Database (USND).

According to statisticians at the USND, the ten millionth member of the Century Club might well have been logged earlier this month,  however on some days more centenarians were leaving the club than joining. A week ago it was clear that a candidate would emerge. It would be Mr Simpson or Florence Bogart of South Carolina, both of whose times of delivery were recorded as 11.45am on 21 March 2011.

Unfortunately, two days before her 100th birthday Ms Bogart discovered she had won $2000 million on the State Lottery and promptly expired.